Young mothers are well acquainted with the phrase “just wait until.” Whether it’s “Just wait until they start walking!” or “Just wait until they’re teenagers—then you’ll really be in over your head,” people are always, in a way, suggesting that the real experiences of motherhood are still ahead.
But when I was pregnant with my first child, no one warned me about one of the biggest challenges of early motherhood:
“Just wait until you’re bored out of your mind.”
The overlooked challenge of boredom
The boredom of motherhood—especially in those early days with an infant – is a particular challenge that doesn’t seem to be talked about often. Recently, a friend of mine, who is in her first year of motherhood, shared how difficult it is to slow down to the pace of a baby’s needs while also feeling scattered by those needs – and how instantly they become overwhelming. It’s a complicated place to be, offering little in the way of mental stimulation.
Spending most of the day alone with a baby or young children – especially if you’re not engaged in paid work – can bring a profound sense of boredom. And depending on how you typically respond to boredom, this can be a particularly heavy cross to bear. But just as it presents a challenge, this boredom can also become a catalyst for growth and self-discovery.
How to cope with feelings of boredom
If you’re experiencing this boredom as a mother, especially a new one, the first step is to acknowledge its difficulty. Maybe you sacrificed a job you loved to dedicate more time to your children and now find yourself searching for that same sense of stimulation or purpose. Maybe your mind is prone to anxiety, and long stretches of stillness invite your thoughts to race.
Whatever your particular experience of boredom is bringing up, pay attention to it. It may be revealing a need for more conversation with friends and family, an urge to explore a new hobby, or even an opportunity to process things through counseling. What we discover about ourselves when we sit still with our thoughts can be both hard and enlightening.
Another element of boredom in motherhood – though difficult – is the opportunity it provides to truly be still. In those slow moments, it’s easy to reach for a phone or some form of entertainment, but if we constantly fill the quiet, we might miss the chance to actually embrace stillness. Infants cannot engage in conversation or play in the same way older children can. That stillness can feel endless, almost like an invitation to distract ourselves. And while some forms of engagement – like calling a friend, listening to an audiobook, or playing music – can be beneficial, sometimes the real invitation is to allow your body and mind to slow down.
Detoxing from the hustle (courtesy, baby)
We live in a culture addicted to hustle, and in many ways, motherhood offers a rare and countercultural opportunity to practice stillness. And in a world so focused on productivity, learning to be still is often its own form of hard work.
Personally, I’ve found that the slower moments of motherhood remind me that I am made to be, not just to do. If I’m not careful, I can become a slave to productivity and hustle, or, conversely, I can escape into easy distractions – only to dive right back into the grind. It’s a vicious cycle that offers neither real work nor real rest.
But the simplicity of certain moments in my days as a mother – because as any mom knows, there are plenty of moments that are not still – has helped reset that cycle. Instead, boredom invites me to be present, whether in work or in rest, and to approach both with peace. And while I still experience boredom at times, I’ve come to see it as an invitation to grow in simplicity rather than as a flaw in motherhood itself. If I let them, my children have a lot to teach me in those slow moments.
A chance for a deeper connection
Finally, boredom in motherhood can also be an opportunity to connect more deeply – with your children or with yourself. Maybe you finally find time to read again or discover creativity in the kitchen. Boredom isn’t an enemy of joy or imagination – often, it’s their starting place.
I’ve found that moments of boredom have led me to new ways of enjoying time with my children and teaching them about life – whether it’s inventing a game with my toddler or exploring a new walking path together. These small discoveries, little by little, build the kind of memories I know will last.
If you’re struggling with boredom in motherhood, start by listening to it – then consider finding ways to make it fruitful. Connect with other moms who might be experiencing the same thing. Explore a hobby that brings a sense of peace to your days. Start a book club, learn to garden – use this season to do something you never thought you’d have time for.
Final thought
Looking back, boredom may not be one of your biggest challenges. Instead, it might turn out to be one of your greatest blessings. As my children have grown older and I’m less “bored,” I also find myself returning to the lessons learned during those early, fleeting years.
